An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't.

Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.

If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.

The best way to turn a woman's head is to tell her she has a beautiful profile.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.