A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

A man that would expect to train lobsters to fly in a year is called a lunatic; but a man that thinks men can be turned into angels by an election is a reformer and remains at l ...

An appeal is when ye ask wan court to show its contempt for another court.

Don't jump on a man unless he's down.

High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th'ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th ...